Today is not a good day

It's been a long while since a- I've written anything b- acknowledged that I'm having bad anxiety or c- complained about it. My mind is racing a bunch of different races right. Don't quite know which lane to be in. Having problems because I am questioning my sanity. Wondering if my mind is actually as in tact as I think it is. My anxiety is getting out of control again and I am starting to break out in a rash because of it. I don't know what is causing it, I'm leveled out right now thanks to paxil but right now I don't think I have much choice. But going back to my zombie ways was not on the agenda.  I have a lot going on and I don't have time for all this, yet trying to juggle this Anger and Hate that I am going through along with juggling routine life, I think I have no choice but to drug up to keep demons at bay. This is the ugly part of mental illness, the one that rears it's head just when you think things are going well.  I wish, I could wish for this all to go away!!